The Breakfast Club (Chi Sau Reflections" Part Two)

by Sifu Nick Francis

¹ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teen_film

The Breakfast Club is an 1985 teen coming-of-age drama which follows five high school students who spend a Saturday in detention under the supervision of a strict vice principal, gradually revealing their inner struggles and forming unexpected bonds.¹

Although I have to confess, now being several decades since its release, I don't recall these scenes. I do however still appreciate the narrative. The commonality among all the characters in this film isn't that they share a specific struggle but rather what they share is the struggles themselves.

In my last post I had explained an experience we shared here recently as it applied to our Chi Sau development. More specifically, I was identifying and addressing some of the struggles we all face as we learn and mature in and through Chi Sau.

For a little more context, you can revisit that post here.

Building on this idea, I'd like to share some insights perhaps common to all of us as we develop our Wing Chun skills, specifically in the context of Chi Sau. Provided that you can demonstrate all the basic elements of Chi Sau to a degree of competence, we can then discuss some of these other barriers we all face.

The basic skills necessary for Chi Sau are of course:

• Dan Chi Sau

• Lap Sau Drill

• Pak Sau Drill

• Poon Sau (w/ changes)

Once we understand and can demonstrate these skills, we can then talk about what comes next in our playing and learning this game.

To keep this lighthearted and fun, in good Breakfast Club fashion, I'd like to present some characters of my own, each representing a challenge all of us face at some time. Please note, these are not comprehensive in any way. They are also not specific to anyone. These characters are however, I hope, a starting point to give ourselves permission and even connection points leading to the great successes ahead.

So, here we go...

The Competitor

The Competitor is on display when Chi Sau is fueled by a feeling of competition. By no means does it have to be aggressive, it just means that there is some form of desire present to win, however this is perceived. A drive for excellence is certainly admirable. Unfortunately, sometimes it can be misunderstood as overly serious and even sometimes felt as challenging.

In a conversation, this feels like you're in a contest where score is being kept and a clear winner and loser are declared at the end.

If this is your cup of tea, fantastic. As long as you and your parter agree to this type of play, there are no problems here. However, if the goal is "winning" be aware that this also means there will be a "loser". Since not everyone loves the feeling of losing, this type of play can unintentionally limit learning and damage trusting relationships.

The remedy for the Competitor is to look to create a win - win experience instead of a win - lose. This way both participants feel they are supported, learning, and growing.

The Bully

 The Bully shares similarities with the Competitor.  Although both may emphasize unintentional or unnecessary pushing, pulling, and aggressiveness, the difference in this situation is the level of skill brought to the game. Where the Competitor is tasked with whatever they determine as winning, they do so by emphasizing their skills in the agreement of the game. The Bully however hasn't reached this level of skill or confidence and therefore may utilize other methods to measure up, govern or just save face.

The primary trait demonstrated in this game isn't usually helpful. Protecting and building ego becomes primary. This makes the developing and honing of one's skills secondary.

Although this characteristic, like all of them, is rarely intentional, when not kept in check and one player protects themself at all costs, they also protect themselves from potential gains that come from playing, laughing, and learning.

If this were a conversation, it may feel like one person is speaking angry. It may even feel like they are raising their voice. More often than not, it feels like a one sided, strictly governed conversation.

Some helpful advice for the Bully is simply choose patience. If this characteristic wants to come out as you play, consider changing your goal to learning. Roll relaxed and simply experience (receive) what your partner wants to share with you. Choosing to give the gift of kindness to others always goes a long a way in bringing back personal gains.

This can be a difficult character to work with and sometimes hard to identify cause if it's not the other person introducing this character into the game, it may have been you. Regardless of how the character entered the game, the remedy is to see who can courageously and quickly reset the game before things grow out of control.

If you are able to, identifying and choosing to not partake in this style already moves you leaps and bounds forward in your training.

The Proxy & The Patsy

For the Proxy, the need to "save ego" is the challenge. There is an internal battle here to not lose the sense of authority. The goal is to just not be humiliated. A concept we all appreciate!

In this scenario, what happens is that the shared goal of playing is exchanged with a "tit for tat" mentality. For every "hit" a partner gets, the Proxy will uncontrollably have to return the favor. You hit me, therefore, I must hit you!

This is where the Proxy comes to the rescue. Although similar to its cousins the Competitior and the Bully, the Proxy tries to respectfully settle this internal incongruence another way.

It's at this time that the Proxy and the Patsy rely on one another. What happens here is the Proxy will step into a position of authority, and ask their partner to let them demonstrate techniques. In turn, the Patsy, having less experience, kindly participates.Of course, we trust our partners to help us to test and trial our techniques. This is great! However, in the case of the Proxy and the Patsy, the intent changes from safe and secure learning to the self-assurance of the Proxy. Since malfeasance is rarely present in this situation, it is a gray area between just trying to figure things out and clearly defining who the senior student in the room is.

In a conversation, this is like having to get the last word in, sometimes appropriate and not an issue. Other times a distinct mark to highlight seniority. 

When the Proxy and the Patsy show up, learning is still often taking place. The danger is that when we use this strategy to divert attention away from our feelings of inferiority, it also quickly diverts our attention away from learning.

So, if these are some of the obstacles we face, what are some other choices we can make.

Who can we become instead?

I am so glad you asked....

Here are some options!

 The Listener

In many Wing Chun lineages, you may not begin learning Chi Sau for some time. Some times a student will even wait years. I have heard of other schools being surprised when they hear how quickly we start playing Chi Sau here at the LWCA. In my opinion, this approach has both strengths and weaknesses. The positives are obvious, the sooner you get into learning about energy and flow, the more time you have to master the techniques. Some of the hinderances unfortunately, are listed here in these emotionally fueled characters that may turn up to play. Because we introduce the game early on in our training, The Listener has the opportunity to present itself often and naturally so. By jumping in to the game quickly, even before mastering all the hand shapes, we can choose to "go with the flow" trusting in the process, even though we may not understand... YET.

In not knowing what to do, recognize that it is ok to feel lost. This is natural and, in my opinion, is actually how we learn the system.

Th Listener is ours to embrace or deny. When we choose the Listener, we give value to developing our character. Unfortunately, when the other diverse personalities show up to the game, it is quite common to lose focus and react to the onset of our pressing feelings.

In a conversation, this is effectively listening and reflecting while the other person "talks".

How wonderful is that! The real question is are we listening or just hearing?

When we choose a posture of Listener, the results will be staggering. You will learn more than you can imagine if you play like this, not just at the beginning but for life. With this midset, in the end, you will have a vocabulary, temperament and skill that will be the envy of the room.

The Humble

What I have noticed about the Humble is this. Instead of letting the other personalities take over externally in play, these individuals fight the battle within. Often, they take home with them a plethora of feelings, only to overcome them silently.

In all honesty, these attributes demonstrate great authority and will lead to the fasted learning. As a note of encouragement, in the moment this may feel like humiliation but it is not this at all, it is the path of self-discovery and self-mastery.

The Humble learn to overcome through self-control. Once we control ourselves, we can trust in our ability to assess circumstances accurately and therefore make better choices under pressure.

In a conversation, this is like listening more than speaking, especially when feeling confused, offended or strongly disagreeing with what is being said. 

In my opinion, the goal of Wing Chun is self-mastery. The truth is, we all face more battles internally then we do externally. This is where our character is the prize.

The path is courage . . . to overcome and not be discouraged!

In pure Wing Chun fashion . . .

•  To learn to be in the moment.

• To gain self-awareness and take control of ourselves

• To grow in peace and patience offering community support.

I have experienced my share of all the characters and have even participated as a contributor. We all have, we all do and we all will.

Until...

Be Empty to Be Full

Everyone gets hit in Chi Sau. It is how the game works. Like in tennis, rarely will you watch a match in the US Open where a set runs 6-0, 6-0, 6-0, with an opponent never scoring a point. A closer analogy yet, even in a boxing match, if you take the world champ and challenge him with a lightweight, it would be foolish to think he will never get hit.

In Chi Sau we get hit, it's part of the game. Once we embrace this, our attention now can turn to something much more fun!

PLAYING!!!

When playing Chi Sau with the best Wing Chun practitioners, I have experienced they all have one thing in common.

They roll with contentment.

When I roll with them, I don't hear from any of these characters. The best way I can explain this is that they feel both empty and full at the same time. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In this way they are full, they demonstrate a wholeness about them.

It feels like freedom.

It feels like peace.

It feels like kindness.

It feels like silent strength confidence and competence.

Do they get hit. Of course.

Are they the best at Wing Chun. They don't even care what that means.

Simply put, they are happy and content!

How are you playing? How do you want to play?

Thanks for reading... maybe it can be seen that how we play reveals how we live.

¹ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teen_film

"The Lancaster Wing Chun Association exists

to create a place where

people can learn traditional Ip Man Wing Chun

 in a safe supportive environment."